The Longest Day

My husband greeted me at 6:00 a.m. with the news that today was the longest day in the year. He was referring to the summer solstice, but who knew he was prophetic?

A neighbor has contracted out some work in the forest that surrounds our house. We had 150 mph straight line winds last summer that blew down hundreds of trees in his 90 acre forest, and he would like to open up a path for hunting vehicles. He has worked on clearing the path for a year, and has decided to pull out the heavy equipment to finish the job. We granted access along the field adjacent to our property to make it easier to get to. I laughed when I looked out the window the other morning and saw this backhoe parked just outside of my front yard. That doesn't happen in town!

Clearing seemed to go well for several days but it became apparent this morning that things weren't going well. At 7:00 a.m., a contractor showed up and parked his pick up, climbed into the backhoe and drove into the forest. At 7:30, a second pickup arrived and shortly thereafter, the backhoe came out of the woods and parked. I know the signs of when men break something. It starts with a huddle, followed by removing the ball cap and scratching of heads. Someone points, and someone has to climb under the broken object. 8:00 a.m., a third pick up arrives with a generator on a trailer. Yep, it's broken. At 11:00 a.m., the instruction manual comes out. Now we are having fun! I just barely resist taking their photo. Honestly, I wanted to but couldn't figure out how to do it without getting caught.

12:30 the boss arrives. You can always tell when the boss arrives. Arms wave, people shake their heads, someone waves the owner's manual . . . this is not looking good. I'm thinking about Youtube and whether I can get this on video. Men glance this way, I duck.

6:30 p.m. dinner arrives. Who knew you could get take out in the middle of a field? Tailgates appear to make wonderful picnic tables. At 8:00 p.m., they give up. I think someone is ordering parts. While I had an entertaining day checking on their progress, I think it is safe to say that today was truly the longest day of the year for these workers.

When life hands you ashes . . . cook wieners!

We had a terrible storm hit our county in July with winds over 130 mph. The storm caused tremendous damage throughout the county with the loss of thousands and thousands of trees, and over 400 telephone poles had to be replaced. Unfortunately, our property was not spared. We lost close to 40 trees. Some were simply blown over, while others snapped 20’ off the ground. There was debris surrounding our house and all over our 14 acres. Fortunately, our home and workshop were spared.


With the help of friends, we were able to clean up the downed trees near the house, and Gene and I have been cutting up one or two trees each weekend trying to clear the rest of the yard. It felt like we were on a treadmill going nowhere. The more we cut, the more trees there appeared to be. And then I found Dean. For the past month, this wonderful man has been helping trim trees and stack firewood. He even rented a 60’ lift to get the dangerous hanging limbs out of the tops of trees. I have felt like I was playing Russian roulette all summer long as I have mowed under these hanging branches, just waiting to be decapitated.

To say that we have created a large burn pile is the master of understatements. The burn pile has grown to 30’ X 20’ X 8’ tall. And I have been patiently waiting for the farmer to harvest the soy bean field that abuts our property. (Okay, I wasn’t patient, but I didn’t want to set fire to his crop and have the entire area talking about me!) And then came our chance . . . a nice, calm weekend day to light this puppy up and get rid of it.

I celebrated as we set fire to one corner of the pile. Had it been up to me, I would have started fires on all four sides, but Mr. Safety Conscious, my husband, suggested that the pile might be too big to handle and we should start small. My celebration lasted about five minutes until the fire lit up all the leaves and we had a serious fire on our hands. I prayed we would not set the neighbors forest on fire. I suspect that is a good way to lose friends.

Three hours after the initial lighting the torch ceremony, the fire appeared to be under control, and we were starting to get hungry. Now this is where being creative and impulsive is a good thing. I suggested that the fire coals were just about perfect for a barbecue. After all, if life hands you ashes, shouldn’t you cook wieners? Gene fabricated a wiener roaster out of a coat hanger. He seemed to think we shouldn’t use the painted hangers in case they were toxic. Always thinking, isn’t he? Just for good measure, I wrapped 4 potatoes in foil and threw them in the ashes. Next time, I will be a little less impulsive in tossing them just anywhere. They can be a bear to find later. We used the Kubota tailgate as an impromptu table. And sat out and enjoyed our lunch while monitoring the fire. This is the life!

750 wieners and 93 packages of buns later, and I still can’t get the buns to equal the same amount of wieners!

Tree Trimming

Do you think it is rude to supervise the tree trimmer?  I'm sitting in my lawn chair with a book, a camera, and a beer.  I think it is important that someone is available in case there is a disaster!

Jurassic Park

There is a part of our yard where the grass meets the woods that I respectfully refer to as Jurassic Park. I say respectfully, because things cross into there and don’t come out again. We have lost bird feeders, shovels, potted plants and other items to the abyss. I have seen squirrels and chipmunks run into the woods and not be seen again. Even Dolly dog won’t venture past the grass line. So respect is in order.

In the winter, when all the leaves have fallen, it doesn’t appear that scary. But about this time of year, it becomes so dense that you can sense movement, but not identify the source. My neighbor once came barreling out of Jurassic Park riding a 4 wheeler, dressed in camo gear a hat and goggles, and carrying a chain saw. I had vision of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I recognized who he was. I’m still not sure why he was in there, but he came out fast. As for the chainsaw . . . I wouldn’t go in there unprotected either!

Sometimes I hear noises in the woods that I can’t identify. Crashing and rustling sounds, and I’m pretty sure an exotic monkey lives in there.  Maybe it is a bird, but it sure sound like a monkey.  It cries out to me and taunts me as I cautiously walk by. 

Pick-Up Sticks

As a child, I loved the game Pick-Up Sticks. The game consisted of a can of brightly colored wooden sticks that you would shake and then dump out on a table. Sticks have to be removed from the pile without disturbing the remaining ones. The person who collects the most sticks wins. At the age of 8, I felt particularly skilled at this game and envisioned myself the envy of all others.


Now I find myself playing an entirely different kind of game called Pick-up Sticks that isn’t nearly as entertaining as it use to be. With all the wind that we have had this summer, Gene and I find ourselves regularly picking up sticks in the yard prior to mowing. Some, the small ones, are simply a nuisance. They are just big enough to make you hesitate before pretending you didn’t see them while passing over the mower. I just shrug when Gene comments that the mower blades don’t seem very sharp, and hope he doesn’t look over his shoulder while I’m mowing. Others are large enough to cause you to put the mower on idle while you climb off and move them. And then there are the big limbs that finally fall to the ground and require a two-man effort to haul to the burn pile.

I’m looking forward to cool days so that we can light the burn pile and roast some hot dogs!

The Squirrels are Trying to Kill Us!

Dolly has done a great job of keeping the squirrels on the run since we moved in.  She races out of the garage as soon as you hit the garage door opener, squeaking under the door before it even opens fully.  They know that she will not follow them into the woods, but will chase them to the tree line, where they scramble up the tree and taunt her.  Now they have begun tossing acorns down on us.  It is literally raining acorns under the big oak. 

I spent the weekend sweeping them off the drive, only to have dozens of them fall on my head.  As I look up, the squirrels are chattering away, and I swear they are smiling.  Dolly does her bit by picking up a mouthful of acorns and carrying them to the grass and spitting them out.  She truly is a wonder dog.

While all of this is amusing, I found that it is possible to hydroplane sideways down the hill on a riding lawnmower.  I kid you not.  I'm going to die by squirrel!

God Bless Google

I think of all the times that I've been at a loss on what to do out here in the country and how many times that I have turned to Google for help. Tho, at times, the information can be daunting. Take, for example, the solutions for pond scum -- I am now educated on what causes algae in the first place. Sunlight and runoff seem to be the main culprits.

Google references suggest that I just put more shade around the tree. I wonder if that "Charlie Brown" sized willow tree will hurry up and grow to offer some shade. And how many more trees am I going to need to plant? We are already regretting planting a tree so far from the house. We haul water in 5 gallon buckets down to keep it alive. Oh wait, why don't we use pond water!

As for runoff, several articles suggest I divert the runoff to keep it out of the pond. Are you kidding me? I have 14 acres that slope, not so gently, toward the pond. It seems to me that this runoff is what is keeping the darn thing full. Redirecting water is a joke.