Saga of Snow Fences

We need a snow fence. We know this because everyone who comes up to our house for the first time, asks us if we use a snow fence. Being the clever souls that we are, we recognize that we need help, so we Googled "snow fence installation" and gathered a wealth of information. Things like:


"A drift can spread as far as 35 times the height of the fence. Therefore, the fence must be at least that far from the roadway and the distance may be farther because of irregular terrain. Also build the fence longer than the area that needs to be protected. Add 20 times the height of the fence on each end to account for wind variation." Math stuff hard!  The most daunting bit of information is the statement "proper installation of the snow fence is critical to its success." Hmmm.

Friday - Installation of the first snow fence. Posts, check. Fence, check. Zip ties, check. Printed instructions from the DOT, check, calculator, measuring instrument, bottle of vodka, check. We have determined that the snow fence needs to be 120' from the driveway. 120' is a long way. We decide to go 80'. We install the posts and tie the fence to them, noting that the wind is very strong here, making it difficult to stretch the fence and hold it taut. When we are finished, we note that our straight line is more of a zig, zag, rather than straight. It doesn't look very taut, and we are out of zip ties. Also, the posts look too short. A trip to the hardware store is needed.

Saturday - Installation of second snow fence. This time, we set the posts first, making sure they are in a straight line. THEN we attach the fence, using a few more posts and a few more zip ties. We are so proud. The fence looks straight and taut.

Tuesday - Huge wind storm. Snow fence #2 blows over. Damn it! Are you kidding me???

Thursday - Setting posts with an attitude and a vengeance. More zip ties.

Winter just 36 days away -- I checked on Google!

When life hands you ashes . . . cook wieners!

We had a terrible storm hit our county in July with winds over 130 mph. The storm caused tremendous damage throughout the county with the loss of thousands and thousands of trees, and over 400 telephone poles had to be replaced. Unfortunately, our property was not spared. We lost close to 40 trees. Some were simply blown over, while others snapped 20’ off the ground. There was debris surrounding our house and all over our 14 acres. Fortunately, our home and workshop were spared.


With the help of friends, we were able to clean up the downed trees near the house, and Gene and I have been cutting up one or two trees each weekend trying to clear the rest of the yard. It felt like we were on a treadmill going nowhere. The more we cut, the more trees there appeared to be. And then I found Dean. For the past month, this wonderful man has been helping trim trees and stack firewood. He even rented a 60’ lift to get the dangerous hanging limbs out of the tops of trees. I have felt like I was playing Russian roulette all summer long as I have mowed under these hanging branches, just waiting to be decapitated.

To say that we have created a large burn pile is the master of understatements. The burn pile has grown to 30’ X 20’ X 8’ tall. And I have been patiently waiting for the farmer to harvest the soy bean field that abuts our property. (Okay, I wasn’t patient, but I didn’t want to set fire to his crop and have the entire area talking about me!) And then came our chance . . . a nice, calm weekend day to light this puppy up and get rid of it.

I celebrated as we set fire to one corner of the pile. Had it been up to me, I would have started fires on all four sides, but Mr. Safety Conscious, my husband, suggested that the pile might be too big to handle and we should start small. My celebration lasted about five minutes until the fire lit up all the leaves and we had a serious fire on our hands. I prayed we would not set the neighbors forest on fire. I suspect that is a good way to lose friends.

Three hours after the initial lighting the torch ceremony, the fire appeared to be under control, and we were starting to get hungry. Now this is where being creative and impulsive is a good thing. I suggested that the fire coals were just about perfect for a barbecue. After all, if life hands you ashes, shouldn’t you cook wieners? Gene fabricated a wiener roaster out of a coat hanger. He seemed to think we shouldn’t use the painted hangers in case they were toxic. Always thinking, isn’t he? Just for good measure, I wrapped 4 potatoes in foil and threw them in the ashes. Next time, I will be a little less impulsive in tossing them just anywhere. They can be a bear to find later. We used the Kubota tailgate as an impromptu table. And sat out and enjoyed our lunch while monitoring the fire. This is the life!

750 wieners and 93 packages of buns later, and I still can’t get the buns to equal the same amount of wieners!