The Birds!

There is an odd phenomenon that occurs when I’m mowing. A large group of birds swoops just in front of my mower as I mow along. What is unusual, in my mind, is that these birds will buzz me continually the whole time I'm mowing. They swoop down at me from all sides and break away only a few feet from me or the mower; they come from all angles, high and low, front and back, left and right. It's a very entertaining display of bird acrobatics and I enjoy it immensely. I suspect they are catching the insects that fly out of the grass ahead of me. They may be swallows, though I really wouldn’t be able to pick a swallow out of a bird line up, but it sounds like the kind of bird that would eat insects. Lately, the insects seem to have caught onto their plight because they are hanging out closer and closer to me to the point I fear one of those birds may actually hit me.

I can see the headlines now . . . “Rural Iowa Woman Loses Eye in Bird Strike”. Now mind you, I’m more concerned about being referred to as a rural Iowa woman than losing an eye. I have made my husband promise that if I die by farm accident, he will drag my lifeless body to the nearest town and make up something interesting because I do not want those words included in my obituary!

(On another note, why is it when you Google “Rural Iowa Woman” you mostly get mug shots?)


 

Jurassic Park

There is a part of our yard where the grass meets the woods that I respectfully refer to as Jurassic Park. I say respectfully, because things cross into there and don’t come out again. We have lost bird feeders, shovels, potted plants and other items to the abyss. I have seen squirrels and chipmunks run into the woods and not be seen again. Even Dolly dog won’t venture past the grass line. So respect is in order.

In the winter, when all the leaves have fallen, it doesn’t appear that scary. But about this time of year, it becomes so dense that you can sense movement, but not identify the source. My neighbor once came barreling out of Jurassic Park riding a 4 wheeler, dressed in camo gear a hat and goggles, and carrying a chain saw. I had vision of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I recognized who he was. I’m still not sure why he was in there, but he came out fast. As for the chainsaw . . . I wouldn’t go in there unprotected either!

Sometimes I hear noises in the woods that I can’t identify. Crashing and rustling sounds, and I’m pretty sure an exotic monkey lives in there.  Maybe it is a bird, but it sure sound like a monkey.  It cries out to me and taunts me as I cautiously walk by. 

Hello Neighbor!

I was sitting in my office a few weeks ago when I turned around and noticed the back end of a large animal walking by my window. I jumped up and went to the front door to see what it was, only to discover a very large, curly haired dog in the front yard. When I opened the front door, the dog looked at me for a minute, then came right to me and leaned on my hip. he then pushed me aside to go see what Dolly was barking about. This was a big dog -- I’m thinking an Airedale mix that had to weigh close to 100 pounds. I admit that I was a bit hesitant to wrestle it and try to read its tags, but he seemed friendly enough, so I leaned in and grabbed the collar only to get dog slobber all over me. Was this thing rabid or did it always drool this much? The tag didn’t list an address, only a rabies vaccination record number, and I wasn’t brave enough to venture near the slobber zone twice.

I decided to come in and call some neighbors to see if anyone was missing a pet. Unfortunately, getting in the house without my new friend proved to be more difficult than one would think. He decided that if Dolly dog could be inside, he wanted to come in as well. I pushed, I shoved, but this dog held its ground at the front door having a stare off with Dolly. After a few minutes of wresting a very large, determined dog and using one leg to keep him out and one arm to keep Dolly in, I was able to get in and shut the door. I no sooner I closed the front door, when I heard a knock, knock, knock on the door. Wow, I thought, someone is already here to claim the dog.

I opened the front door to see the Airedale looking at me. No one else was in site. Are you kidding me? This dog knows how to knock on doors! Call the circus! I laughed and closed the door and took three steps when I heard knock, knock, knock again. The dog is still looking at me. Dolly is barking like crazy, and I’m wondering who is in charge.

This time, I open the door and say, “No, Dolly can’t come out and play,” and close the door. After three more tries, the dog gets tired of the game and wanders away. Now every now and then, I hear a knocking at the door and look out to see this persistent dog looking at me. My biggest concern is what I will do if the owners teach this dog how to punch in the code to the garage door opener!