Poison Ivy

Why is it that when you see photos of people with poison ivy they are always smiling? There is nothing funny about poison ivy! After a recent wind storm, we were clearing trees, and it would seem that some of them were covered in poison ivy. Unfortunately, I only found out the hard way. I wore gloves and washed my hands and arms when I went inside, but four days later, I broke out in a rash on my face and arms, then small blisters appeared . . . and then the itching started. We are talking itching on a scale that you can't imagine. Then the poison ivy spread to my ankle, my knee, and so on.

Once I realized that I had poison ivy, I started searching for images online so that I could identify this noxious weed in the future. "Leaves of three, let me be," seems to be the best description out there. But raspberry bushes have three leaves and I know they aren't poison ivy. So now I'm spraying weed killer on anything that remotely looks like it has three leaves. You can hear me outside mumbling “One, two, three” spray, “One two, three,” spray. And now I'm afraid to go near the wood pile. I know there must be poison ivy there somewhere, because I keep breaking out. But after four days, who can remember everywhere they have been?

I love my sister’s comment after listening to me whine about the poison ivy. “Use your head girl. Move the woodpile!”

Things I've learned:

•  Lots of plants have three leaves.
• You can only stack firewood so high before it falls over. It must be a physics thing.
• People will post the strangest photos online.
• Nothing stops the itching. 
• You can get scars from poison ivy.
• Home remedies only involve how to wash it off once you know you have been in it. Not how to stop it from spreading and itching. 
• I'm buying stock in Dawn dishwashing detergent 
• Showering in Dawn dishwashing detergent creates a LOT of bubbles.

And my favorite news release:

FORESTVILLE, Calif. — They're kicking off the Poison Oak Festival here along the Russian River this weekend, complete with an itchy queen and guideless tours of select patches of poison oak. “What we really want to do is pay tribute from a respectable distance," Forestville Chamber of Commerce spokeswoman Nancy Wallace said Friday.

Other rhymes about poison ivy that make me laugh:

1.  "Longer middle stem; stay away from them.
2.  "Hairy vine, no friend of mine."[5] Poison ivy vines are very poisonous.
3.  "Raggy rope, don't be a dope!"  
4.  "One, two, three? Don't touch me."
5.  "Berries white, run in fright"
6.  "Red leaflets in the spring, it's a dangerous thing."
7.  "Side leaflets like mittens, will itch like the dickens."
8.  "If butterflies land there, don't put your hand there."  
9.  "If it's got hair, it won't be fair."