The Days of Summer

Memorial Day weekend brings the unofficial beginning of summer, and you know what that means . . . let the fairs begin! After two years of "getting settled," my goal for the summer is to visit as many small town festivals and county fairs as I can. I plan to eat my way through four counties in my quest for local flavor.

Hiawatha Hog Wild Days
Urbana Corn Days
Independence Brew-B-Q
Center Point Pork Days
Atkins Watermelon Days
Blairstown Sauerkraut Days
Monticello Red, White and Boom Bicycle Fest
North Liberty BBQ Roundup
154th Annual Great Jones County Fair
Benton County Fair
Johnson County Fair
Iowa Beer Festival
Wild West Weekend
Iowa City Jazz Fest
Woodfest

Fish Days, Dairy Days, every kind of corn or pork days, the list goes on and on. And I may hit 20 or so pancake breakfasts along the way. But I'm a little worried about the Keystone Testical Festival. I will let you know more about it once it is over.

Man Arrested for OWI with Zebra, Parrot in Front Seat of Truck

A man, a parrot, and a zebra walk into a bar . . . I know, it sounds like the opening of a joke. But truth is often funnier than fiction. From the newspaper:

"A Cascade man was arrested outside of a Dubuque bar on Sunday night with a pet zebra and a macaw parrot in the front seat of his truck. Officers charged the man with OWI. Police reports say officers stopped him in the parking lot of the Dog House Lounge as he drove away in his truck. According to police, field sobriety tests showed he had a blood alcohol level of .14.

The man said that he and his girlfriend see the animals like their kids and often take them for rides. On Sunday night, they say they took the zebra and the macaw to the bar because it often lets people bring their animals inside. The man says the owner told him they were serving food that night and he couldn’t bring a zebra inside the bar. Bar owners state that no animals are ever allowed inside the establishment.

At that time he went outside to put the animals in his truck and several people were in the parking lot taking pictures. (You think?!) He believes one of those people called police. The man disputes the charges and says he realized he was too drunk to drive and was about to let a passenger in the truck to take the wheel when he was arrested."

Man I love the newspaper! I have nothing more to add.

The Fish Are In!

It is the subtle statements in the instructions that always seem to create a problem. I remember assembling a stationary bike and getting to a simple instruction to insert bolt B into the crossbar and frame. Sounds simple enough, but in fact, a person would have to have eight arms, hang upside down and be a certified Twister Champion to complete the task. That is sort of how it felt when we went to gather pond water for the coolers to pick up our fish. Seriously, how hard could it be? They really should underline that little statement on the instructions for picking up your fish.

Plan A: We gathered buckets, coolers and rubber boots and headed down to the pond. The water is quite low right now due to a mild winter and dry spring. You would think that that would make it easier to get the water out of the pond. Oh no. It turns out that when you try to walk on the former bed of the pond, it is actually a bog. We immediately sink up to our knees as our boots become encased in mud. Now the fun begins. Who helps who out first?

Plan B: Somebody is going to get wet. I volunteer. This won't be the first pond I have ever swam in. Two steps into the pond, the water is over my boots. Good enough. Nobody said that we had to have water from the middle of the pond. Gene holds one of my arms as I lean in to get "better" water. Gene carries the water to the cooler. Repeat. Somebody should have had a better plan to get OUT of the pond.

Picking up the fish from the fish truck seemed uneventful. After gathering the water, I decided I might need some help in getting the fish back into the pond, so I told my husband, "I need a man." As he deliberated his response (this man has been married to me for nearly 30 years, he knows trouble when he hears it), I explained that there was no way I could walk the coolers down to the pond by myself, and the fish couldn't stay in the warm water all day. It might stress them out. (What about my stress?) So I called a neighbor who agreed to go with me and help me load them into the pond.

The truck is parked in the farm store parking lot and two guys sit and wait for people toting pond water to arrive. With a net, they quickly load your coolers and you are ready to go. They seemed surprised when I whipped out my camera to take their picture.

Getting the fish into the pond went really well. I let Dean do it! He only got stuck twice.

I have been feeding the fish every evening with floating catfish food. It only took two days for them to come when I call them by pounding on the bucket. My fish are smarter than your fish.

We Are Expecting!

Tomorrow is the big delivery date. Our fish arrive! I studied, I Googled, I talked to friends and searched the internet and finally placed my big fish order at the farm store. I ordered 5 grass carp and 25 catfish. It is a bit of a bizarre process. You fill out the paperwork and then the clerk gives you a stern warning, "The fish truck will be here on May 18th from 10:00-11:30 a.m. You need to bring your own pond water and containers." Yes Maam! When I told the clerk that I was going to name my fish, she blinked, then promptly said, "Name one of the catfish Whiskers." So that gave me an idea. I'm going to name all the catfish with cat names, and all the carp after types of grass.


I'm looking for suggestions, so email me if you have a great name and I will add it to the list. So far, I have:

Catfish: Felix, Garfield, Cleo, Morris, Tom (cat) and Whiskers (19 more to name!)

Grass Carp: Blue (grass), Fescue, and Bermuda (2 more to name)

I feel like an expectant parent. Like any good soon-to-be parent, I have picked up all the supplies I will need. In this case, a 50 lb. bag of floating catfish food, a container to store it in, and a scoop. I'm sure I'm missing something, but I cannot think of what it would be. If history is any indicator, there should be loads of blog material in my fish delivery tomorrow. I will keep you posted.

Since posting this blog entry, I have had several emails with additional names:
From Dean and Kathy:
Just thought Kathy and I would try to help you out with naming your fish. We had a lot of fun while trying to come up with names and here is a list for you to consider; Wild cat (Wilde), Black cat (nicknamed Firecracker), Bob cat (nicknamed Skidloader), Kitty cat, Ali cat, Top cat, Cool cat, Kit Kat, Stray cat, Sylvester the cat, Puddy tat, Tigger, Smelly cat ("Friends"), Scaredy and Fraidy cats, Jinks the cat, cat Nip and cat Nap, cat O-Nine Tails, cat Scan M.D., cat Tails, cat Sup, cat Walk, cat Burgler, cat Ballou, cat Bird, cat “In The Hat”, cat Mandu, cat Chall, and cat Ewampuss. Oh, and don't forget the "A" team- Apult, Agory and Atastrphe!



We also came up with a few suggestions for Grasscarp names. How about; Pampas, Smokin’, Wax Your, and Your Ass Is? Hey, now I think you need more fish!

From Clayton:
Carp: St. Augustine and Cannabis. Drawing a blank on cat names. Will send them as I come up with them.  There is also Crabgrass if one is cranky, and in case you have a crazy one Nutgrass,or cohld even go with Lovegrass for the romantic one.



Cat names, only came up with one other name. Not sure how appropriate but Pussy cat. Best I can do for now will keep thinking.

My reply:
St. Augustine - good one. I looked him up on Google: He is the patron saint of brewers, printers, theologians, the alleviation of sore eyes.


And Cannabis - you got me on that on. Could you just have said marijuana? I'm going to call that one "Weed" for short!