Septic Sucking Service

Christmas was eventful. I should just leave it at that, but just for fun I will share the details. On Christmas Eve morning, I took my son into our storage room to show him our new project. To my surprise, I saw that the septic system had backed up. Super! How am I going to get someone to come out on Christmas Eve and fix this? I called a few neighbors and looked in the phone book. Do you need a septic tank specialist or a plumber for something like this? Most of the plumbers listed “heating and plumbing” and since it was 16 degrees outside, I figured they would be busy, so I called a septic sucking service. Guess what? He is a procrastinator and was in town doing his Christmas shopping.


It turns out that he is a really nice guy and in a couple of hours, he was out at the house to help us out. Now, you try to find the septic system access points in 12 inches of snow. I knew roughly where two were located, but was stumped when he asked about the effluent filter access. Fortunately, with a lot of patience, he found what he needed, unclogged the filter and we were back in business. I took the opportunity to ask him about 5,000 questions and I now know everything there is to know about septic systems. Ask me anything!

It started snowing just as we finished up and the weather man commented that instead of 1-3 inches of snow, we were under a winter weather advisory and could get 2-4 inches. We were soon upgraded to a winter weather warning. We got 12 inches of snow, thank you very much. When my daughter arrived, she could not get up the hill. My husband went out to pull her up, but she slid sideways on the hill and ended up in a 5 foot snow bank at a 45 degree angle. We decided to leave the car till morning and she climbed out the passenger door, stuffed her gifts in the Kubota and they came in. How will Santa ever get here?

The final insult was when the larger burner on my stove decided not to work. Ho, Ho, oh no!

Town Meetings

I get a lot of entertainment reading the local paper and following the minutes from the town meetings. After living in cities with populations in the millions, several with populations in the hundreds of thousands, and one with a population around 70,000, I now find myself in a community of 2,500. In large cities, the city council meetings rarely made the paper unless there was a controversial issue discussed. Here, they print a summary after each meeting. I’m delighted to read that the water treatment plant came in under budget; that the city has agreed to let AmeriCorp clean up “the park”; and that there was a discussion on whether we need police coverage four days a week or seven days a week.


But I must say, I laughed at the following: “He (Sherriff) also let the council know that he had to purchase a flashlight and a holster for a taser. The city did have the items at one time, but he had been unable to locate them and no one was able to tell him what may have happened to them.”

Speculation

We were driving to town last night and I saw headlights in a remote field.  It caught my attention because it was 16 degrees outside and I wondered what a farmer would be doing in a field at dusk on such a cold day.  As we got closer, I could see a back hoe in a dark field burying something.  Now I ask you, what would a farmer bury in a field at dusk in 16 degree weather?

Over the River and Through the Woods

Whenever it snows, I look out my kitchen window and think of the song lyrics, “Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go.”  A postcard couldn’t better capture the image of snow in the woods, a graceful hill covered in trees and evergreens, and a small clearing just perfect for an old-fashioned sleigh to pass through.  One of these days, I’m going to get the sled out and climb up that hill and take one, quick ride down, imagining I’m young again.  The wind will blow in my face, my heart will race, and for an instant, I will be 8 years old and free.  Sadly, reality will hit as I’m cold and wet, wheezing and pulling the sled to the car, covered in bruises . . . not only to my ego.  But maybe, just maybe, it will be worth the risk.

Old vs. New

Gene and I were at the bank drive through when I caught this delightful photo of a man with a pair of horses pulling an old fashioned wagon.  I was just getting ready to tap Gene on the arm to point out this quaint sight when the man stopped the buggy, pulled out his cell phone and started texting.  I couldn’t help laughing.   Do you think the law on texting and driving applies to buggies?

Dolly vs. Alvin the Chipmunk

Each morning around 8:00, a chipmunk crawls out of the wood pile, yawns, stretches and wags his little tail at the picture window where Dolly sits on guard . . . and Dolly goes nuts.  She whimpers, she cries, she barks and begs to go outside.  When I let her out, Dolly races around the house spraying landscape rock in her wake determined to catch Alvin the chipmunk.  Alvin quickly burrows back into the wood pile and I swear I can hear him chuckling.  Dolly will run from one side of the wood to the other in absolute determination to catch the chipmunk.  You would think she would grow tired of missing the chipmunk, but she is determined and patient.  She will sit and stare and wait for some sign of life.  Alvin, on the other hand, is no dummy.  He curls up and takes a nap, knowing that eventually Dolly will go away.  And each day, I scoop the landscape rock back into place and shake my head.  Who is in charge here?

I'm ready to come in now.

The Great Dust Bowl of 2010

The historic Dust Bowl of the 1930’s was created after years of drought in the plains. Tons of topsoil were blown off barren fields and carried in storm clouds for hundreds of miles. Technically, the driest region of the Plains – southeastern Colorado, southwest Kansas and the panhandles of Oklahoma and Texas – became known as the Dust Bowl, and many dust storms started there. But the entire region, and eventually the entire country, was affected. One dust storm arrived in Washington, D.C. all the way from the Great Plains and spread a dusty gloom over the nation’s capitol and blotted out the sun.


By 1934, it was estimated that 100 million acres of farmland had lost all or most of the topsoil to the winds that were clocked at 60 mph. By April 1935, there had been weeks of dust storms.

Last week, after weeks of dry weather, record crop harvesting, and warmer than normal weather, violent thunderstorms, and near-hurricane force winds swept through a large portion of the mid-west, thanks to the strongest storm ever recorded in the Midwest. The mega-storm reached peak resulting in the lowest barometric pressure readings ever recorded in the continental United States, except for from hurricanes and nor'easters affecting the Atlantic seaboard.

And we live on a hill . . . .

It would be hard to describe two days of 60 MPH winds and the amount of debris that hit our house and windows. Fortunately, most of the leaves had fallen already as I watched 50 foot trees sway over our house. The wind was so strong that the water in the toilet was swaying.

I remember Gene asking our realtor if Iowa got much wind, and his reply, “No, not really.” I thought about calling him and asking if he would like to come out for coffee. Of course, the coffee in the pot would have been swaying . . .

Road Kill

Take one Toyota and one large (very large) raccoon and push them together at 40 MPH and what do you get?  A very big mess.  I hear about people hitting deer all the time, and as expected, there is quite a bit of damage and sometimes injury.  But when you look at a raccoon, you think to yourself, no problem.  The car wins every time.  As it happens, a raccoon can do quite a bit of damage to a car.  We have become amused by insurance adjusters and auto mechanics as they say, “That must have been one big raccoon!”  Neighbors and mail men come by and ask, “Did you see that raccoon?”  We thought we would just need a new bumper, but it turns out the raccoon bent the frame of the car.

Ahh

The weather this weekend was beautiful for outdoor work.  A bit cool in the mornings, but warm enough that a jacket wasn’t necessary.  Gene and I opened up the doors of the workshop and spent the day working side by side on a woodworking project.  A nice cool breeze filled the shop and Dolly spent some time terrorizing the chipmunks and squirrels.  At one point, Dolly got tired of waiting on us and took a nap at the top of the hill, underneath the big oak.  The breeze gently blew over her, and  I had one of those moments in life where you know everything is perfect. 

Running Into Fire

There are many advantages to living on a hill. There is always a breeze. Water runs downhill so you don’t have to deal with it. And you can see fire trucks approaching your house for a good mile before they get there.
Today was an interesting day. The weather was beautiful and Gene and I decided to get the mowing done. We both had our headphones on, and had Dolly in the house like good, safety conscious people should. We were about two hours into mowing when I glanced up and saw someone turning into our drive. I paused a moment, and discounted the truck as a neighboring farmer taking a shortcut to check on his hay bales. Then I noticed a long line of fire trucks with their lights on approaching our drive, slowing, and turning in. My heart stopped. I thought the fire alarms in the house had gone off and the security company had tried to reach us and called the fire department when we didn’t answer.

My first thought was to race to Gene and warn him. I knew that he could not see the drive and would be startled when a long line of fire trucks rounded the curve and came upon him mowing. And I was frantic to get to the house and get Dolly dog out. So I raced on my mower over to get his attention just as the first car rounded the corner. I pointed frantically at the car, then turned and raced the mower up the hill to the house, threw it in park and ran to save Dolly. I know you should never enter a burning building, but I was willing to take a chance in order to save Dolly the Wonder Dog. (Now I can hear some of you wondering, and no, I did not grab my computer!)

When I got into the house, no alarm, no signs of fire, but I wasn’t taking any chances, I scooped and ran. It turns out that the fire department was looking for a combine that was on fire. Gene was sitting calmly next to the drive talking with the fire fighter when I came barreling out of the house with a frantic dog. Dolly was busy doing her “someone is here” dance on the drive. Two calm men sat watching a burst of activity come flying out of the garage.

Once my heart stopped racing, I explained to Gene that I had my priorities right. Save the Bread Winner first, then Man’s Best Friend. I have spent the evening pointing out to Dolly that I was willing to run into fire to save her. She doesn’t seem too impressed.

One Year Later . . .

A year ago, we moved out into the country. It isn’t as if we moved to a new planet, but it did present us with a number of challenges and opportunities that required us to adapt and change our outlook. I remember driving up and seeing a huge hole in the yard where the inspector had dug up the septic tank access to inspect it. That was a challenge that we hadn’t planned on for moving day. The seller said, “A couple of scoops with the tractor and you will have that filled in in no time.” My thought was, “Who knows how to drive a tractor?”


I remember spending the first couple of months wondering what happened to my well-ordered life. The next couple of months I ordered everything online so that I could see Ray, the mailman, and Bruce the UPS man and have someone to talk to. Where did all the people go? And then it started snowing, and Gene and I went into survival mode. With the second highest snowfall totals on record, I spent so many hours in the Kubota, that I am now qualified for a commercial snow removal license. Look out Urbana Streets Department! (I have actually seen the Urbana Streets Department which to the best of my knowledge consists of one guy, a can of white paint, a paint roller, and a pick up. But I will say that he did a great job this fall cleaning up before Urbana Corn Days.)

Just as we celebrated the end of winter and the snow melting, mowing season hit. We had the second highest rainfall this summer (do you see a pattern?), and the grass loved it. Two mowers and 3 ½ hours each week and we had the grass mowed. Fortunately, I was already a pro mower, but mowing is really scary here.

Now, fall has approached and we are celebrating not just surviving, but thriving in the country. Gene knows how to drive the tractor . . . I have an opportunity to get a commercial truck drivers license. I no longer hit the dirt when I hear shots fired, or reach for the phone when I smell smoke. I’m not going to say that I have converted to a country girl, but I’m considering adding a cup holder and seat belt for my John Deere to my Christmas List. (Gene cringes at the seat belt request. He seems to think if you need a seat belt for a mower, you are trying to mow a hill that is too steep.)

You will know that I’ve truly gone country when I trade in my SUV for a pickup with a towing package and I wear a ball cap to town. Until then, I will continue entertain myself with writing down all the stories as we learn how to live in the country.

Pick-Up Sticks

As a child, I loved the game Pick-Up Sticks. The game consisted of a can of brightly colored wooden sticks that you would shake and then dump out on a table. Sticks have to be removed from the pile without disturbing the remaining ones. The person who collects the most sticks wins. At the age of 8, I felt particularly skilled at this game and envisioned myself the envy of all others.


Now I find myself playing an entirely different kind of game called Pick-up Sticks that isn’t nearly as entertaining as it use to be. With all the wind that we have had this summer, Gene and I find ourselves regularly picking up sticks in the yard prior to mowing. Some, the small ones, are simply a nuisance. They are just big enough to make you hesitate before pretending you didn’t see them while passing over the mower. I just shrug when Gene comments that the mower blades don’t seem very sharp, and hope he doesn’t look over his shoulder while I’m mowing. Others are large enough to cause you to put the mower on idle while you climb off and move them. And then there are the big limbs that finally fall to the ground and require a two-man effort to haul to the burn pile.

I’m looking forward to cool days so that we can light the burn pile and roast some hot dogs!

The Squirrels are Trying to Kill Us!

Dolly has done a great job of keeping the squirrels on the run since we moved in.  She races out of the garage as soon as you hit the garage door opener, squeaking under the door before it even opens fully.  They know that she will not follow them into the woods, but will chase them to the tree line, where they scramble up the tree and taunt her.  Now they have begun tossing acorns down on us.  It is literally raining acorns under the big oak. 

I spent the weekend sweeping them off the drive, only to have dozens of them fall on my head.  As I look up, the squirrels are chattering away, and I swear they are smiling.  Dolly does her bit by picking up a mouthful of acorns and carrying them to the grass and spitting them out.  She truly is a wonder dog.

While all of this is amusing, I found that it is possible to hydroplane sideways down the hill on a riding lawnmower.  I kid you not.  I'm going to die by squirrel!

Tractor Parade

We watched a tractor parade last weekend. I vaguely remember reading about it in the local newspaper, but since we live so far out of town, I didn’t pay much attention. Just and Gene and I finished our 3 plus hours of mowing, we loaded up in the Kubota to go fertilize some trees. As we headed down the hill, I could see the line of tractors coming towards us. We parked at the end of the drive and watched a line of 20-30 mostly vintage tractors drive by. Each displayed an American flag and most of the drivers were standing and waving at us as they went by. We got several thumbs up as they pointed at our Kubota Utility Vehicle. I’m certain they were envious. We do, after all, have air conditioning! It was quite a site to see a long line of tractors climbing the hill on the county highway. I suspect that their parade route was over 30 miles long. We had quite a chuckle as they passed and we saw a few cars that were unfortunate enough to be on the road at the same time. They all seemed to be taking it in stride.  What a great celebration of country life!

You know it is humid when . . .

You know it is humid in Iowa when even the frogs want to come inside.  I opened the door last night to see a tiny frog clinging to the screen door hoping to get a blast of air conditioning.  I'm not sure he appreciated the flash on my camera.

Weeds are a Good Thing

I use to be a perfectionist in caring for our lawn in town. I mowed every five days and hired a lawn service to come out and spray weeds and fertilize five times a year. We have already discussed why I'm done with fertilizer (See July posting). Now I have decided that weeds are a good thing. They quickly fill in the bare areas that have developed in the August heat. They have pretty little flower that seem to pop up overnight. And clover is really, really green! When I look at the 50 gallon tank and think about filling it with weed killer, I convince myself that weeds are a good thing. The only place that I really can't tolerate weeds is in the two mile long drive (notice that the driveway is getting longer as the heat and humidity settle in?)

Dolly the Rebate Dog

Just when you think you have seen it all, you get a surprise in the mail. We adopted Dolly from a nearby animal shelter three years ago. She was 8 1/2 years old at the time, and when we applied for adoption, they offered us a discount due to her age. We laughed and told her that she was close to her expiration date.

About a month ago, the shelter contacted me to inquire if I had kept her vaccinations up to date. I sent them proof of vaccination, some photos and a letter telling them how much she was enjoying country living. When I went to the mailbox this week, I saw another letter from the humane society and I thought, "What? Do they want her back?" When I opened the letter, they had sent me a $10 rebate for keeping her three years and keeping her vaccinations current. When Gene came home, he said that pretty soon we would be making money on her! I laughed so hard as he spent the evening calling out, "Hey Rebate, do you want to go for a walk?"

Here is Dolly waiting for Gene to come home.

ADDENDUM: After posting this, Gene received a $2 rebate from a dropped policy. I couldn't resist pointing out that Dolly was worth more than he was.

Cutting Hay

I have to admit that I'm facinated by the hay cutting process. We have watched weeds grow to nearly three feet on the 20+ acres south of us. Such beautiful, rolling hills are covered in noxious weeds (see May posting) and something that looks like Queen Anne's lace.

Then last week, a neighboring farmer came and cut the weeds down. The cutter leaves two neat rows of hay. A day later, the farmer comes back and turns the rows into one row, following the next day with a hay baler. Now there is a piece of equipment that I can get into. The baler rolls the hay into large rolls and binds them. There is something so serene in waking up to fields of round bales of hay poking out of the fog.

We have watched the farmer come the last few evenings to pick up the bales and haul them down hill. I'm wondering why he didn't just give them a good push with the tractor. It is, after all, downhill!

I wonder what a bale of hay goes for?

Farmer's Tan

Gene told me that I'm getting a farmer's tan. Just great! Next thing you know, I will be buying plaid shirts and cutting the sleeves off.

I'm done with Fertilizer

Last spring, we noticed that the grass in the front yard was looking a bit thin. When Gene asked what we should do about it, I told him it just needed a bit of fertilizer. I spread some out and it began to rain. Who knew it would rain 23 days in June? July isn't looking to be much better. While people living in the low areas are worrying about flooding, I'm on top of a hill trying to mow and keep the grass in line. Not only did the grass fill in, it is flourishing!

A farmer came and cut hay on the 20 some acres just south of us last night. I just pointed to our yard and signaled for him to keep on cutting. He waved and laughed, but I'm not kidding. You know it is bad when you need a GPS to find your house while you are looking over the top of the grass! I'm done with fertilizer!

God Bless Google

I think of all the times that I've been at a loss on what to do out here in the country and how many times that I have turned to Google for help. Tho, at times, the information can be daunting. Take, for example, the solutions for pond scum -- I am now educated on what causes algae in the first place. Sunlight and runoff seem to be the main culprits.

Google references suggest that I just put more shade around the tree. I wonder if that "Charlie Brown" sized willow tree will hurry up and grow to offer some shade. And how many more trees am I going to need to plant? We are already regretting planting a tree so far from the house. We haul water in 5 gallon buckets down to keep it alive. Oh wait, why don't we use pond water!

As for runoff, several articles suggest I divert the runoff to keep it out of the pond. Are you kidding me? I have 14 acres that slope, not so gently, toward the pond. It seems to me that this runoff is what is keeping the darn thing full. Redirecting water is a joke.

Pond Scum

It is interesting to me to realize how many things I never thought much about. I have driven by houses with ponds all my life; some are beautiful with blue water, some a bit murky, and a few have algae on them; but I've never given much thought to the care of ponds.

Now I find myself with three ponds. One is only a couple feet deep and has beautiful cattails growing in it. The ducks and birds love it. I see them peaking out at me as I walk along the driveway. The pheasants run toward it for cover.

The second pond is deep, but the water level fluctuates a lot. I know we could seal it with Bentonite, but the sides are very steep and I'm not sure if it is worth the cost, or what it would cost. This pond helps contain run off.

Then there is the big, beautiful pond that graces the entrance to our property. Two families of geese entertain us on the pond. The only problem is that it is totally covered in pond scum this month! I kid you not. The geese are even looking hesitant to climb in. I expect to see them walking on water soon. We have dumped $50 worth of algae eating crystals into the pond with little or no effect. I'm open to ideas . . . .

Noxious Weeds

A notice in the paper stated that all county property owners were required to spray for any known noxious weeds prior to May 15th. It proceeded to list about 20-30 varieties of noxious weeds, none of which I could identify if my life depended on it. Okay, okay, maybe I could point out a thistle plant, but I have never heard of the rest. then the notice goes on to state that if you have know noxious weeds and don't spray to control them, the county will come spray them and send you a bill for the cost plus a fine. So my question is . . . if i don't "know" that I have them, does it count?

I see farmers out spraying the fields. I suspect they take this stuff seriously. Back to Google to see if I can find some photos . . .

How Do Fish Get Into Ponds?

A stranger stopped by today and asked if he could fish in our ponds. Sure, no problem. I thought it was nice that he asked. Later in the day, I walked down to the ponds to see if I could spot any fish. I'm curious as to what type we might have. I doubt that the shallow pond has any fish, but we enjoy watching the ducks swim among the cattails. The big pond has carp in it according to the previous owner, but I'm wondering how fish get into the pond in the first place?

Do people actually buy fish and stock small ponds? I know this is possible, but where does one buy live fish? If they are tiny, will they survive? Does the pond have to be deep enough so that when it freezes in the winter, there is enough water to stay alive -- that rules out the small pond. What kind of fish should I buy?

And finally, the otter in the pond scared the beegeebies out of me this morning. I saw a small head swimming across the lake with a long trail behind it and thought it was a snake. A really BIG snake! Then it did a flip and I realized it was an otter. I don't like snakes. Haven't formed an opinion on otters yet. Wonder if that little guy will become a problem.

Probably eats fish.

We woke up to a beautiful sight this morning as the fog rolled into the river valley and the sun highlighted the tops of the trees. It was amazing to see and I grabbed my camera to take pictures. It was so peaceful until the fog crept closer and closer to us, closing off the view. God is indeed an artist.

Country Kritters vs. City Kritters

What is up with birds flying into the window and killing themselves? This house has been here about five years, so it isn't like it is a surprise to them, and yet I have four dead birds laying on the patio after colliding with the picture window. Dolly just growls now when a bird hits the window.

I have also noticed that the squirrels in the city and acrobats and can figure out how to get into a bird feeder no matter what steps you take. So far, the country squirrels haven't figured out how to get to the seed. Not that I'm complaining!

I am going to have to start carrying a camera on me. As we walked the mile long drive, Dolly spotted a frog in the grass. She ran over and pounced trying to catch it time after time. Picture her putting her paws together and diving into the grass. I laughed so hard. She is loving the country, but she still isn't sure what to make of the wild turkeys.

Ahh, Spring!

We survived the winter! Seriously, there were moments when I questioned our sanity in purchasing 14 acres. Now that the snow has melted and I can sit outside and look at the beautiful view, I remember why we loved this place.

We are discovering new forms of wildlife. The geese have returned and I think I have spotted a nest. They could have planned better on placing their nest as it sits on top of the dam, right in the tire tracks where we can cross the dam. We also have frogs in the ponds. Who knew frogs could be so loud! I get a kick out of shouting "Quiet!" as I walk by the pond. The frogs stop croaking for about half a minute, then start up again. I find amusement wherever I can. I've given up wondering what the neighbors think.

Gravel Driveways

Spring will arrive this weekend and most of the snow has finally melted. After months of four foot drifts on either side of the driveway, it is nice to finally watch the snow melt. But what happened to all the gravel that used to be on the driveway? When we moved in, we remarked on how well kept the gravel drive was. Now, most of the gravel is gone. Okay, I get it that we had more than twice the annual snow fall this winter, and we did have to plow several times a week for three months. But really, where are the rocks?

I spent an hour raking gravel out of the grass and only gathered a fraction of the gravel that used to be there. Surely there is a more efficient way to do this. I wonder how much it would cost to pave a mile long drive?

Remote Parking

You know how you notice something while you are driving, then forget about it until you see it again? After harvest season (even I can't believe I'm using that phrase!), I noticed a number of vehicles suddenly being parked in the middle of fields. Boats, cars, RVs, a few farm vehicles. What's up with that?

After near record breaking snows this winter, I have come to a couple of possibilities:
1. These people knew we were going to get so much snow that we would run out of places to put it. So they moved their "extra" vehicles out to the fields so they could pile more snow on the driveway.

2. They moved these vehicles out of the garage so they could park their big @&* snow remover in the garage.

Eight more inches of snow. No place to put it.
Let me know if you know why people are parking in the fields.

Dolly the Weather Dog

One of the compromises in living in the country is the limited access to cable and internet providers. We have DSL now, and it annoys me that the weather channel doesn’t show our local forecast on the “8’s”. Instead, you get a handful of selected cities, none of which are anywhere near us. We are nothing if not resourceful. We have delegated weather reporting to “Dolly the Weather Dog.”

Each morning, I send her out and she comes back with local conditions. If she is wet, we know that it is raining. If she is covered in snow, I look out to see how deep her footprints are. Today’s forecast reported 3 inches of snow and light precipitation. She looks forward to her treat for accurate reporting.

I will say that she is 100 per cent accurate on the current weather and there is no 15 minute delay like the weather channel has. So there are some benefits to living in the country.

Dealing With Ice

We had our first ice storm this week. Now to be fair, I don’t like ice when I live in the city and there is an entire team of city employees who are in charge of dealing with it. You can imagine my enthusiasm as I look out at the “mile-long” drive. I watched the ice grow to half an inch during the day, but Gene was able to get up the hill, so I ignored it and hoped that it would go away.

As Gene was getting ready for work the next morning, we knew we were going to have to put some salt down. I decided that the best approach was for me to sit on the tailgate of his truck and sprinkle salt out of a five gallon bucket while he drove us down the drive. Gene seemed to think there were safety issues involved with my plan.

We are nothing if not inventive and creative in this house. Gene rigged up a “seat belt” for me to make sure I didn’t fall out. You are going to have to use your imagination to picture this, but a tie-down strap around my waist and two bungee cords actually make a nice seat belt. I thought it was all overkill until we turned around and came up hill. As I was leaning over the tailgate at a 45 degree angle, I realized that I was just one bump away from experiencing a toboggan ride down the mile-long drive (sans the toboggan!).

The best part of my adventure was when we turned around at the foot of the hill and I got to wave at the county snow plow driver who was gaping at me. We’ve talked about him before, so I don’t really care if he thinks I’m crazy.

Shots Fired!

We took Dolly for her early morning walk down the driveway. It is so nice to be able to walk her without a leash. She gets in twice the miles that we do. Who knew the drive was so steep. It is fun going down, but coming up the hill is a challenge.

Just as we rounded the curve, I heard shots fired. I hit the deck . . . literally. I'm squatted down, my eyes are huge with fear . . and I look up and see Gene laughing. He says between gasping breaths, "It's just hunters." Who cares! They are firing guns for God's sake. I've seen the stealthy movements of soldiers and action heroes on T.V. The ones who duck when shots are fired live longer than those who stand and look around. And for those who laugh . . . I'm not talking to you.

Snow, snow and more snow . . .

Okay, whose idea was it to move out to the country?

I seriously want to find out the name of the county snow plow driver who keeps burying the entrance to my driveway. I swear he comes by fifteen times a day. No Christmas candy for him! Six more inches of the white fluffy stuff overnight, with another two to three expected. Oh, and did I mention wind. We are under a freaking "Winter Storm Warning" for another 24 hours.

The weather man smiles pleasantly as he says that blowing snow will create white out conditions and travel is not advised. How can you smile when you say that?

Here is a photo of Dolly coming back inside. She is a city dog. How does she find her way back to the front door?

Wait . . . do I hear the snow plow again?

The Long Drive

When we purchased the property, we were so impressed with the long, curving driveway that gently brought you up the hill and into the trees. Isn't it pretty? Well, it turns out that it isn't a gentle hill, and snow removal is a bear! Next year, we plan to buy about 500 orange stakes so we can find the darn driveway after six inches of snow!!

Things Should Be Easier

So we are moving to the country. Sounds great doesn't it? No leash laws. No nosey neighbors. No subdivision rules. Well it turns out that some things aren't as easy as they should be. To begin with. How do you get mail? You can't just put up a mailbox and start giving out your address. It turns out that you have to go to the post office and ask to add a new address. The problem is, which post office? When you are in the country, the nearest post office has no bearing on your mailing address. Which side of the street do you install it on? It took us three weeks to get a mailbox installed, and wouldn't you know, the gas and electrical lines run under it!!!!

Trash . . . seriously, this should be an easy one. But when you ask around, most people say, "You are in the country. Most people just burn it." So where do you get a burn barrel? I don't have one laying around. I don't plan to buy anything in a large metal barrel. Do they sell these things?

Ordering things. So going to the store isn't convenient. No problem, I'll just get on the Internet . . . it turns out that until your address has been listed for six months, many companies don't recognize it as a legal address and won't ship to you. Are you kidding me?

Oh, and the UPS man informed me the first of December that we needed a plan. Huh? It seems that when it snows or is icy, UPS won't try to come up the drive to deliver packages. So where would I like him to deliver them? Is he kidding? I haven't met my neighbors yet. Do you think the bank ladies will take my packages? They at least call my by my name. Mr. UPS says that maybe we can build a box and "secure it" out by the end of the drive to put packages in. Only, "It needs to be tall enough not to get buried by the snow plow." What????